All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
