i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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