good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Dear god my vagina.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
