Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
