Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize