That's intense
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
