my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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