I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
