What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
