I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
