Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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