Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
