just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize
