I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
