So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
