It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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