she looked like the bat from fern gully.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
