Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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