I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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