u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
