The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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