yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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