It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
