Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
