This show inspires me to have sex in space
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
