Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
