yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
