Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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