you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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