If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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