now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
