matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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