matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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