Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
