shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
