You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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