xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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