I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
