i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
