Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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