No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
