Don't you send me to vm
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
