He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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