i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
