I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
