Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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