i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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