We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
