it glows. i had to have it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
