something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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