He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
