I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
