I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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