How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize