Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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