I CAN MOONWALK!
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
