I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
