this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize