New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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