I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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