I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
