eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
