we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
His hands were made for my vagina.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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