he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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