how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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