This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
