ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
